Feb
17
Trusting My Voice (And Yours)
Filed Under Inspiration
“A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile.” ~~ Don McLean, American Pie
There is nothing like music for taking us back to another time and another place. The music could be music we grew up with, or music from an entirely different era, but it evokes feelings that can harken back to places other than where we are now. Sometimes it can be a wonderful trip down memory lane and other times it can mean remembered pain that we would just as soon not feel — or maybe we would.
Today I was reminded of an old dream I had that was formed out of a meditation. The dream had been to create a Concert for World Healing. In my dream, the concert was set in Geneva Switzerland. The idea of the concert was to bring indigenous healers together from all around the world, plus musicians and sound healers, and to create a celebration of the Earth and its people. The focus would be to provide understanding and appreciation of indigenous traditions and to share ideas and information that would help us deal with the environmental and social challenges we face.
I first had this vision in 1996. I really didn’t know what to make of it at the time. But it wouldn’t go away. Finally in 2000, I was at a place in my life where I wasn’t sure what was next for me. It came to me that I should pursue this vision. So I did my best to begin to find people of like mind to help me figure out what the next steps were. I wrote letters. I talked to friends. I looked for others who were putting on similar events. In October 2001 (yes, shortly after 9/11) I even went to Geneva and connected with some Sufi friends there to discuss the likelihood of this event being held in Geneva, as it was in my dream. I think they thought I was just a crazy American (they said so) and they tried to encourage me to think of this as an inner project, rather than an outer one. They pointed out that similar things were happening already and maybe I should just rethink this.
So I did. And I let it go. And I contented myself with the notion that maybe I was a crazy American after all. Maybe I was chasing rainbows and I had just picked up on somebody else’s vision. All of which may or may not be true.
But one thing I have learned in the intervening years is that going with one’s gut is never wasted. I may never understand exactly why I had that vision and why I felt so compelled to find a way to bring it into being, only to have it not happen — at least for me — but it did help me to put myself out there in ways I would never have imagined. It did keep me on the trail of who I really want to be and what my life purpose is. And I know it led me to this place of being a spiritual life coach and learning to nurture my creative side in a whole new way. Even the hurt of somehow not being able to birth my vision has led me to look around and to champion others who are doing similar things.
Interestingly, I have a friend who has been creating an Earth Day event for the last few years (check out information on this year’s event here) and his events, although on a smaller scale, are very much in the spirit of my original vision. I’ve been involved from the first year and it’s been very rewarding, assisting my friend and also performing.
But sometimes I still get caught in thinking of myself as a failure. I still hear that old music that makes me cry and remember things that really aren’t true about me, that are lesser visions of myself. While I’ve learned it’s important to let out those old feelings when they show up, I’ve also learned that feelings are not facts. They exist in the moment and they can change in an instant. I get to choose which songs I listen to and what they say about my experience.
If following my inner guidance as far as I can go seems to lead to a dead end, does this mean that I can’t trust my inner guidance? No. It just means I haven’t got the whole picture. It means that there’s more for me to see and be before I’m ready to realize my vision.
So let’s try this on together, shall we? Let’s agree that we can absolutely trust the music of our inner guidance. We will know by how it feels if it is leading us in life-affirming or life-denying directions. It may not always lead us to the vision we originally had, but it will always lead to a larger place than we now stand.
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
~~Alfred Lord Tennyson
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